For much of my life, I felt strong, unexplained, and confusing impulses within me. Often the impulses were violent–– anger so strong I would shatter the windows in my room, punch walls, or cut myself until I bled.

The energy in my body would swing from anger, to urgent creative impulses, to all-consuming sadness. I didn’t have any language or tools around how to move through these emotions in a healthy way. I was also deep in the lived reality of people pleasing and embodying the nice girl, so I became skilled at concealing the vast waters of my emotional sea.

After years of swallowing my truth in favor of being liked, my highs and lows melted into extreme exhaustion, the most lifeless lethargy I’ve ever experienced– an autoimmune disorder of the thyroid (read about it here). I couldn’t move off the floor some days my body was so beat. And of course, my emotional state correlated. Most often, nothing could break me from these spaces except anger– the impulse to destroy, or inspiration– the impulse to create.

Little by little I learned to honor my anger (because there’s a hell of a lot to be angry about in our world!) and channel the power of rage into art. This practice of channeling– finding an outlet for the depth of my emotions– has been imperative in regaining energy, balance, passion, purpose, and grounded stability in my life.

As I allowed myself to feel and embody the full spectrum of my emotions, I felt a wildness begin to awaken within me, a deep calling home to the Earth. Through working with plant medicine, spending time in nature, and connecting to the wisdom of the elements, I have learned that I am whole as I am and I am allowed to express all that lives within. me. Nature has ALL the space and capacity to receive my screams, my rage, my grief, my exhaustion, my bliss. There is more than enough room on our planet for every one of us to be fully expressed and embodied.

As I began to wake up to my WILDNESS, I consciously realized how deeply I had suppressed, held in, and choked back my TRUTH for much of my life. We live in a world where the SHRINKING of Womyn is commonplace. There is no conscious, collective honoring, validating, supporting, or guiding the waves of our emotions, wisdom, and wildness. Instead we are often called manipulative, crazy, confusing, off balance, or too much. Anyone else relate?

Awakening my wild animal nature has called for a clear rejection of the toxic and unrealistic feminine beauty standards we are inundated with and boxed into from a young age. I decided to shave my head, grow out all my body hair, and come out as queer (read more about this journey here).

I began to connect daily with nature, placing my feet in the Earth each morning and saying “I am safe, I am sound, I am welcome here” at the recommendation of my dear sister witch Reverend Briana Lynn of The Earth Temple. I started opening up my throat chakra through singing, sounding, and speaking my truth (learn more about this here).

At this point, I was awakening my wildness, activating my creative channel in bursts and spurts, letting go of friendships, relationships, and communities that felt out of alignment, awakening my true identity, and stepping deeper into communities that understood the path of the wild woman, yet something was still missing…

Then I found myself at a sacred sexuality womb healing retreat dancing with serpents (read about it here) moaning, howling, and honoring my yoni and the moon blood in a giant yurt full of womyn wildly empowered in their sexuality.

And I was like, Ah, yes T H I S is it.

I grew up with a lot of shame around sexuality (you can read about that one too!) and had been deeply disconnected from my Yoni, my moon cycle, and my pleasure for most of my life. Working with my mentor and dear sister Aya Kamanakai and charting my cycle using fertility awareness method felt like the missing piece of the puzzle when it came to feeling like a whole and complete human being.

I am now humbled to be in the space of guiding other Womyn deeper into their own connection to wildness, their yoni’s, their voice, creative power, source energy, the goddess within, and ultimately back to the home temple of the body.

I am honored to be with you on this journey, as a guide, an artist, and fellow wild human here to express her truth and bloom fully into the beauty of her body!

With love, Anna